Archives for 2012

Welcome to the Dust It Off Bloghop!

This hop is hosted by Theresa Paolo and Cortney Pearson during three days: May 3rd, 5th and 7th!

The first day, May 3rd: Post a 1-2 sentence pitch about the shelved WIP. You can see my post here (and the pics I have in it!).

The second day, May 5th:  Post your favorite excerpt (300-350 words). You can find it here (and the soundtrack!).

Today, the third day, May 7th: Post what you learned from this WIP. You become a stronger, more rounded writer which each manuscript and we want to know what this particular work taught you.

I chose SANDS OF HOPE for this hop. It was the very first novel I wrote when I decided to get serious about writing, and I learnt a lot while and after writing it.

I learned a lot … like I said before, it was my first serious manuscript, but I had no notion of craft.

What did I do wrong?

First, I began with huge amounts of backstory. I told  the girl’s whole life in the first 10 pages LOL Then, I would describe too much and in the wrong moment. Whenever my characters walked into a new room, I would stop and describe everything. EVERYTHING. I was even meticulous about the size of the damn room hihi I also described every time she changed her clothes .. and was meticulous about that too. And I repeated the color of eyes and hair of almost everyone very often.

Gosh, how terrible I was …

I love the story, the twists, the characters and their motivations, but, well, the writing was poor and too long … since I described EVERYTHING  and went into detailed backstory for at least two characters, the first draft of the manuscript ended up at 155,000 words! Seriously!

Oh, and I told the story in multiple POVs (at least I didn’t switched them mid-scene), but the thing is, it’s Egypt, so it was historical and the word choice had to be careful and I wasn’t careful. I wrote as if Sethi and the others lived in our modern world, talking casually. You can check that again on the excerpt posted two days ago. Since I’m still not comfortable writing historical, if I ever re-write this story, I’ll focus on Shannon’s POV only. I guess that will be good for Sethi’s mysteriousness, and, well, we all love a mysterious guy ;)

Well, I’m never repeating those errors again!

My second manuscript was already much, much better, but I knew I still had much to learn. In fact, I guess I’ll never stop learning, even if someday I do get published … I also noticed my English gets better and better from manuscript to manuscript ;)

(sorry, no pics or videos today!)

How about you? What have you learned from your old manuscripts?

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On another note, I’m talking about writing and publishing New Adult at the NA Alley blog today. It’s quite interesting, you should check it out!

Cheers,

Welcome to the Dust It Off Bloghop!

This hop is hosted by Theresa Paolo and Cortney Pearson during three days: May 3rd, 5th and 7th!

The first day, May 3rd: Post a 1-2 sentence pitch about the shelved WIP. You can see my post here (and the pics I have in it!).

Today, the second day, May 5th:  Post your favorite excerpt (300-350 words).

I chose SANDS OF HOPE for this hop. It was the very first novel I wrote when I decided to get serious about writing, and I learnt a lot while and after writing it.

The pitch can be found at my Projects page and on the previous post.  

And now for the excerpt … Please, keep in mind that English isn’t my first language and that I wasn’t as good at it as I am today. Also, I was a rookie. You’ll see lots of mistakes and things we’re not supposed to do lol

Anyway, it’s from Sethi’s POV:

We remained in the arms of each other while I could still hear the clashing of swords in my back. I was certain the four Medjai and Anhur had the rest of our enemies under control.

Turning my attention to Chloe and Ryan, I stepped away from Shannon and went to thank them for bringing help for us.

But it all changed when Shannon’s feelings altered. She was watching the fight two steps behind me and, within a second, she was terrorized again. Being reeled by her feeling, I turned around and saw whatever was terrifying her. One of the Assyrian men, who was badly hurt, was getting ready to throw the sharp pointed banner-like-spear on her and nobody seemed to have noticed it but her and, now, me.

Besides Shannon’s thoughts of dying, despair took over me. In shock, I looked from the spear to Shannon and could not believe in what was going to happen. Putting my mind to work, I prayed for the gods to make me as fast as a hunting cat or a flying falcon and ran for it.

“We were supposed to bring her alive!” I heard another Assyrian yelling.

I placed my body in front of Shannon’s just in time and, closing my eyes, waited for the end.

I heard everyone around me gasping as the spear should have pierced me.

A few seconds later, I realized the end had not come. Behind me, I could feel Shannon’s hand on my bare back, just where the spear should have pierced through me.

I opened my eyes again and saw everyone gawking at me, even the Assyrian who had thrown the spear. The Medjai and the remaining two enemies were not fighting anymore. They were just staring at me with huge eyes and open mouths.

And that’s when I saw it. The spear was floating just in front of me, with its sharp point standing about half an inch from my chest, right across Shannon’s warm palm. Then I felt it. The power running from her hand, across my chest, to the hovering spear. Shannon had stopped it. Shannon had stopped the spear!

I talk about the bad things of this excerpt on the next blog hop post, in two days. Stay tuned!

While writing it, I remember listening to these two songs often:

I’m aware that, if I decide to invest my time in this WIP, I’ll have to fully rewrite it, but I hope you liked it even so ;)

Cheers,

Welcome to the Dust It Off Bloghop!

This hop is hosted by Theresa Paolo and Cortney Pearson during three days: May 3rd, 5th and 7th!

I think there’s still time to sign up!

Today, the first day, May 3rd: Post a 1-2 sentence pitch about the shelved WIP.

I chose SANDS OF HOPE for this hop. It was the very first novel I wrote when I decided to get serious about writing, and I learnt a lot while and after writing it. Oh, it’s New Adult, of course.

The pitch can be found at my Projects page, but here it is:

Shannon goes back in time to Ancient Egypt where she finds out her presence is expected—kind of. There, she will have to face the power of a curse, the bitterness of a pharaoh, the obsession of his son, and the rage of a Medjai Warrior. 

REVISED (with the suggestions from comments): Twenty years old Shannon Wright goes back in time to Ancient Egypt where her presence is expected—kind of. There, she will have to face the power of a curse, the bitterness of a pharaoh, the obsession of his son, and the rage of a Medjai Warrior.

Better?

And because I love pics and drawings …

 This is how I imagine Shannon to be. Image by Suzanne Van Pelt.

And this is how I imagine Sethi, the Medjai Warrior. His name is Mert Öcal, a Turkish model (btw, he is 6’4″ of pure deliciousness).

What do you think? Any suggestions to improve my pitch?

What about yours?

Cheers,