On Why I’ve Been So Quiet Lately
Hi friends! Long time no see! How are you doing?
I’m doing great!
I’ve been meaning to write an update post for the longest time now, but never got to it … then today I saw Natalie Whipple’s post and thought it related so well to why I wasn’t posting anything myself.
First, the update. My 2nd daughter was born on January. She’s now 5 months old and she’s doing very, very well. I haven’t been writing much or revising much, or doing anything much, because she wants to stay with me, like literately in my arms, the entire day—which I don’t complain since she sleeps in her bed all night long! We have a big trip to Brazil coming up next month, and we’re moving from CT to NC! Yeah, the moving part happened fast and now I’m going crazy organizing a move around a 3-week trip to Brazil. And my oldest daughter’s new school starts one week after we’re back so we need to be settled by then! It’s going to be a hurried mess, but I know we’ll make it work. Though, until it’s all done, I’m stressing, of course.
Second, why haven’t I posted updates before? I don’t really know. I haven’t had much to report, especially on the writing/revising front, which is the main subject of this blog. And once I disconnected for those first 2-3 months to take care of the baby and spend time with family that came to visit us, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything, you know.
I thought I would fail life if I didn’t check twitter twenty times per day, if I didn’t read and reply to all threads on my facebook groups, if I didn’t read every single post on my bloglovin feed, if I didn’t browse through pinterest five times each day, if I didn’t blogged at least twice a week … but you know what happened? At first, I was so, so busy, I really didn’t have time to worry about missing anything. And then, after a while, I realized I didn’t really miss it. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss talking to the friends I made through twitter and facebook, but I didn’t miss that rush, that need to be up to date with the book/writing community.
And it was such a relief! It’s still such a relief!
I’ve been popping on twitter every 2 or 3 days, sorta … just to say hi to my friends. I’ve been checking on a few facebook groups, reading a few interesting posts, but otherwise, I’ve been quiet. And it has been such a bliss!
Last year, I published 3 novels, 2 novellas, and had one scene of one of my books featured in an anthology. Last year, I felt such pressure, such hurry … I was so involved in the business side of my career, that I lost a little of me. I was writing what I thought my readers would like (don’t get me wrong, I wont’ write anything I don’t like too, but the idea that I had to please others was too strong), I was worried about marketing, about sales, about blog tours, about cover reveals, about being social so readers/writers will like me and hopefully buy my books, I was worried with ads and exposure. To be honest, I don’t really like the business side of being a self-published author. I love the control, but I hate how much the other things take from my writing time. HATE IT.
So, after being absent for 2-3 months with a newborn, I just didn’t make any effort to come back. I enjoyed the quiet, the not knowing what was the new strategy in getting more readers, in selling more, and not worrying I wasn’t being as successful at it as many of my writer friends.
I reread many of my old manuscripts, wrote down new ideas’ notes, started new projects dozen of times, I came up with at least ten plans of when to come back, what to write next, and such—I was still worrying.
Well, I’m still worrying. Of course I am. Since I’ve been quiet these past few months, my sales have dropped drastically, and the business side of my brain keeps telling me I need to do something about it fast, but you know what? The creative side of my brain is winning. The creative side tells the business side to shut the hell up. The creative side of my brain is happy with me just relaxing now … raising my baby girl in this important phase of her life; taking care of the oldest girl, who loves her sister but is missing mommy time a little; preparing for our big trip to Brazil, where we haven’t been in over 3 years; preparing for a rushed move to NC; and working here and there on old and new stories.
One month ago, I was still worried. I was trying to make plans to write my next book and publish it by the end of the year. I had to get a new book out this year. And then follow with a new one every 3-4 months, of course.
I don’t care about that anymore. Not right now at least. I will come back, I will write dozens of books, I will publish again, and it’ll be sooner rather than later … but not right now.
Right now I’m enjoying the quiet life. Like Natalie Whipple said:
“I find I’m actually looking forward to the “reset,” so to speak. No deadlines. No contracts. No events or publicity or whatever. It’s like I’m a brand new author again, […] I want writing to be magical again.”
That’s exactly what I want.
And I will have it.